So its 2:15am and I cannot go to sleep for fear of having a nightmare. To some that probably sounds extremely childish but I can’t help but wonder what if. What if these dreams do come true how would they end. I definitely DO NOT want any of these nightmares to come true because most of them is either basically running for my life or having to shoot and kill to save my life or my family’s life. The only bit of relief I can think is I’m a somewhat skilled shooter and if it came down to it I could probably do it. I don’t want to but I could if my or my family’s life depended on it.
I can’t help but wonder if these nightmares are associated with something such as a medicine. In July I was diagnosed with Syringomyelia, which those of you that’ve read this blog will know, and my neurosurgeon sent me to see a neurologist because my migraines had gotten worse. So the neurologist started me on Cymbalta, which I think that’s what’s triggered them to start. I had a nightmare maybe every 6 months before starting the medicine and now I’m having 3+ per week and that makes for a horrible sleep schedule! I’ve also noticed that if I sleep on my back or when I’m awaken by one I’m always on my back. I’m also wondering if it may have something to do with Sleep Paralysis because when I wake up I physically cannot move and I can lay there for up to 10 minutes without being able to move. I did some research a while back and learned some tricks to bring you out of the sleep paralysis but it definitely doesn’t make it any easier to cope with!
I’m contemplating going to see someone but who in the world would you see about sleep!!! I had a sleep study done when I was in my teenage years but I don’t remember who I seen that sent me to have it! I do remember from that study that my brain never shuts off and I do not go into R.E.M. sleep, or so it said then. So I guess when I see my PCP I will ask her or either I will schedule a follow up with my NL.
One good thing I can report is in March of 2012 I had a surgery done for some female problems and since then I’ve lost about 60 pounds! I’m pretty stoked about that, even if others are doubting I actually have.
Oh and one other thing, any and all prayers will be appreciated! My 5 year old daughter who has CVS had an episode tonight, we’re hoping its over but we really never know!
So I guess that’s it for now! Will update again soon!!!
Much love and God Bless!!!
Amber